packing
by chutzpah117
Summary: mia packs for college and reflects.
1. Chapter 1

I'm packing for college. I'm not sure what to take with me. I'm contemplating smuggling Fat Louie into school with me. I doubt they'll notice. Give or take the occasional missing sock. Grandmere and her assistants insisted on making up a whole new wardrobe for college, so the past few weeks have been filled with chanel visits and stupid poodles and fussing over my hair. Grandmere wants extensions so I will seem "sophisticated" and not a "poulet" like those other girls. She says that if I ever wear leggings as pants like those other girls, she will personally have me assassinated. I reassured her that I would not, but she did not believe me, and confiscated all of my leggings as a precaution. Like I would wear them. I would look like a giraffe. Or a flamingo.

Grandmere wants me to take the limo with me. To college. she's out of her mind. nobody smuggles limos to college. She said that anyone who's anyone brings their limo. I half hope she comes to visit me so I can bring her to my dining hall and make her fat. Though the idea of Grandmere fat scares me... Fat Louie would think she was one of his kind and try to make her his queen... Hahahaha.. his queen, get it?

Grandmere is worried about me partying in college. I reassured her that I wouldn't. Nonsense, she said, of course you will. All princesses party. Good press. Just don't party too much. If you end up in rehab like Drew Barrymore, I will force you to join the military. I told her I loved Drew Barrymore. She said nonsense, only Drew Barrymore loves Drew Barrymore. Not even Justin Long loves her, and he's a nerd.

Trevor wants me to pack him. He keeps rolling into my suitcase and falling asleep in it. This is the fourth time. I almost kept him this time.

Everyone is dealing with me leaving in kind of a funny way. Grandmere keeps coming into the room like she has something to say but then suddenly leaving like she's forgotten. Or perhaps she's just gotten early onset Alzheimers from all of those sidecars. I agree with the latter. Mom keeps making me pancakes, and Mr. G keeps asking if I want to watch the game with him. Trevor has decided that he is going to come with me. He's put all of his toys in my suitcase, and put himself in my suitcase as well. I hope when I'm gone he doesn't try to ship himself to me in a box. Well, I kind of hope not. Part of me wants him to because that would be really funny. Fat Louie is perhaps cleverer than I thought. He has decided that since I am packing my clothes, and evidently NEED them, not having them will thus prevent me from leaving, and so he has devised a clever plan to make sure I do not have any clothes. He has decided to eat all of my clothes. I never knew Fat Louie had such ambition. It appears he does. He has moved on up from socks to bigger and better things. Right now, he is attempting to eat my overalls.


	2. Chapter 2

Grandmere has recently become rather paranoid that I will start wearing my hair in a poof when I am no longer close enough to her that she can constantly criticize my hair. "You had better not wear your hair in a poof, like that Hooki, or Pooki, or Cookie, or whatever it is that traffic cone calls herself." I assured her that I would not suddenly transform into a character from Jersey Shore when I went to college. I would never wear my hair in a poof. I would resemble her dog! However, I am considering the possibility of dying my hair red just to see the reaction on Grandmere's face. How do you think I would look as a ginger? I am a ginger at heart. Like Ron Weasley. Did I tell you that Grandmere's birthday is coming up? I think I will buy her a snuggie to warm her cold, cold heart. Grandmere is not such a fan of me right now. Whenever I walk into a room, she looks at me with her eyebrows raised in fear, like I might suddenly turn into a turtle or something. That might not be a bad idea. Turning into a turtle, I mean. She has been slightly afraid of me since the small increment of time when I was very emotional. She's not really afraid because of the emotional part of it, but because I was eating so much. She is worried I will become fat again and not fit in the college wardrobe she is planning. She actually once called me Kirstie Alley and asked me if I was enjoying my big life. I told her I was enjoying it thoroughly, thank you for asking. However, she has been mostly calm ever since I made her go to the therapist. I am sensing some silent anger at being sent to therapy by her own granddaughter. She will explode very soon. Dad seems to think it is a good idea. But he thinks anything that punishes her is a good idea. I am slightly worried about the outcome of the therapy. What if she becomes a cowgirl and elopes with the therapist?


	3. Chapter 3

I have a tiny baby little insignificant hiccup of a problem. I can't remember what I did last night. I'm not sure whether it's because my mind is instinctively blocking my memories to protect me from myself or whether I somehow managed to get amnesia. I'm going to take the high road by not attempting to investigate the source of this amnesia. Of course, the most likely cause, given the fact that I am now a COLLEGE student, is that I drank a wee bit too much. Or maybe I did something innocent. Maybe I merely bumped my head. Of course, that begs the question, how did I bump my head? Given the fact that I am in COLLEGE, perhaps I was dancing on a table. On the other hand, maybe I just fell out of my bed. While I'm on the topic of investigating this source of amnesia, I'm going to mention that a boy I don't recognize just woke up next to me. NONONONO. I am not a one-night stand kind of person. Uh oh. He's rubbing his head and looking at me questioningly. I hope he has an idea of what we did last night... because I certainly don't.

"Did we..... ?"

"I don't think so.... Come to think of it, I don't know."

"Are you naked?"

"No. Are you?"

"No. Phew.. Hahahahahahaha."

He looked at me oddly again, possibly because I was giggling like a loony bird out of relief.

"So. What exactly did we do last night?"

"I don't know."

"This is like-

"Ross and Rachel in Vegas... on one hand, we did something kind of bad. On the other hand, we did it in kind of a funny way."

"I was going to say Rory and Dean... but same general idea, yes. It does seem less bad that way, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. At least I'm not Katherine Heigl."

"I feel sorry for her career. Don't bite the hand that feeds you."

"A bit like Anne Hathaway in "The Devil Wears Prada." They wake up, and then he betrays her."

"She's annoying. Always thinks she's right. Still. SUCH a quality movie."

"Apart from-

"The scenes without darling Meryl!"

"YES!"

"We're like Matt Damon and Tina Fey. Meant to be."

"I'm so glad you're not Wesley Snipes."

"I'm Ben, by the way. It's a bit strange that we spent the night together and had a full conversation without knowing each other's names, isn't it?"

"Mia. and yes. It doesn't feel strange, though."

"Oh no."

"What?"

"I just remembered what we did last night."

TO BE CONTINUED.....


End file.
